Today's snake story.

[SA1911a1]

My wife has a special dread of snakes; any variety, deadly or harmless, she knows on an intellectual basis that they are part of a healthy environment, but she doesn't give a damn.

My wife also has a soft spot for birds. Just outside of the office that we share, and spend too much time in, are several bird feeders. She spends better 50 bucks a month on sunflower seeds to feed them, and they come in droves. Where birds congregate, snakes come to feed on the birds. For the last week or so, there has been a 3' Oak Snake perched on one of the feeders, same snake, same feeder, same posture. I think that the snake is overly ambitious, because, I can't see him swallowing a bird if he caught it; but I could be wrong.

Several days ago, at my wife's bidding, I caught the snake, carried him 100 yards away and released him. The next morning, the same snake is back on the same feeder. Again, I caught him, and this time walked him about a quarter mile before releasing him in the woods. This morning, he is back.

We were going grocery shopping so I figured that, right before we left, I would catch him, one more time, and drive him several miles to a new home. I snagged him off the Sheppard's hook, put the snake in a plastic grocery bag for the quick trip. I just held the bag closed. My wife would not even consider holding the bag, so she drove. About 5 minutes into the trip, the snake, who had been going nuts in the bag, found an escape route, literally jumped out of the bag and was fully exposed in all his glory far too close for my wife's comfort. Panic doesn't adequately describe the moment.

I am not afraid of Oak Snakes, but I do know that when they bite, they cut you and it leaves a sore wound. Now I am not the most athletic of old men, and I have fumbled more baseballs than I ever caught, but I managed to snatch the snake before he got loose in the car and just tossed him out the window. That has been about an hour, and I don't think that my dear wife's heart rate is back to normal. Tomorrow, when the diligent little bastard comes back, I will try to improve on my confinement technique and give the thing a ride, but I do not suspect that my wife will trust me to come along.

The worst part of the whole incident is that if I even smile for the next few days, I will be in the dog house...

[Junk Yard Dog]

This is why we must have video cameras in all cars! That would have been a good money maker on a monetized YouTube channel Why are you getting rid of a perfectly good snake anyway? Fuckin birds shit all over everything, fifteen cats or an army of snakes is what's needed, not discouraged. Get an aquarium, some sand, a rock of two in it and a jar of live mice to feed it and you have a free cool pet snake.

[ffuries]

Did that with a Florida Hog-Nose snake some years back. Was transporting it for release and looked down at the container it was in, and the lid was magically off. Pulled over and spent 30 minutes looking for that bastard.

I was alone so didn't need to worry about someone else, and while the snake isn't really venomous per se, I didn't need the damn taking up residence in the car. Once I found him it let it go right where I was.

When I was stationed in California, I was hanging out with some guys I went to HS in Germany with. One of them picked up a snake and threw at the open window of the car where I was sitting at. It landed in the car and I un-assed it at Olympic speeds. Guy who threw calles me out saying it was none venomous, when we found it under the seat, it turned out to be a juvenile rattle snake.

[ffuries]

Speaking of snakes, just went out to the Koi and found this floating in the pond. It's about the same girth as a hotdog. I'm assuming it's from another Florida Banded Water Snake.