Some very practical and cost saving advice in this time of irrationality!
My urologist’s office called the other day and explained that my scheduled appointment would now be done over the phone due to the coronavirus. One hour before the scheduled teleconference, I was instructed (via email) to administer my own urine test. This was to avoid those lab tests and costly co-pays that your doctor's tell you to get at Quest Diagnostics, and because they're shutdown too.
Directions:
Simply go outside and pee in the front yard.
If ant's gather: DIABETES.
If you pee on your feet: PROSTATE
If it smells like a barbecue: CHOLESTEROL
If your wrist hurts when you shake it: OSTEOARTHRITIS
If you return to your house with your penis outside your pants: ALZHEIMER'S
health examination.....
Re: health examination.....
“Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.” George Orwell, English novelist, essayist, and critic, 1903-1950
Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.
C. S. Lewis
Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.
C. S. Lewis
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Junk Yard Dog
- Owner/Founder
- Posts: 48777
- Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2011 12:54 pm
- Location: New York
Re: health examination.....
Leave it as it is. The ages have been at work on it and man can only mar it.
Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft.
Theodore Roosevelt
Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft.
Theodore Roosevelt
Re: health examination.....
Dagnabbit! All of the above..... 
"Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum." -Publius Flavius Vegetius Renatus
Murphy was an optimist.
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an
invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a
sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the
dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an
equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a
computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
Specialization is for insects - Robert A. Heinlien
Murphy was an optimist.
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an
invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a
sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the
dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an
equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a
computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
Specialization is for insects - Robert A. Heinlien
Re: health examination.....
What does it mean if it's bloody?
In my case it meant I passed a kidney stone, but because I panicked and went to the Base ER, they also found bladder cancer (Real early stages, low grade non-invasive).
In my case it meant I passed a kidney stone, but because I panicked and went to the Base ER, they also found bladder cancer (Real early stages, low grade non-invasive).
Mike
TSgt, USAF Retired
Jan 86 - Sept 08
Aircrew Life Support
"Your Life Is Our Business"
(122X0, 1T1X1, 1P0X1)
NRA Life Member
TSgt, USAF Retired
Jan 86 - Sept 08
Aircrew Life Support
"Your Life Is Our Business"
(122X0, 1T1X1, 1P0X1)
NRA Life Member
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steelbuttplate
- Posts: 3938
- Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2013 2:24 pm
- Location: Foxhole in the Smoky Mtns. N.C.
Re: health examination.....
I think I'll see if it works in the back yard before I try the front. 
" There are two kinds of people, the good people and the ones that aggravate the hell out of the good people"